In my childhood, I admired the calmness of Monks and Sadhus and that made me a follower of Buddhism. I had seen many Monks and was incredibly fascinated to see their calmness and control on their emotions. So, one fine day, I also got this thought of becoming a Monk.
There have been many reasons for this thought. At times, I felt that the AC rooms and some other comforts had started suffocating me. I often felt that these gadgets – mobile phones, laptops etc., had controlled my life and my happiness.
Driving a four-wheeler on crowded roads, watching movies & series on a large LED screen, heating meals in microwave, connecting everyone on WhatsApp – well, everything was certainly shattering my emotions.
To overcome such emotions, we generally plan vacations to get-over such miserable feeling and search for destinations that are closer to nature – tall trees, water bodies, mountains, farms, vegetation, rural & traditional art and above all, less comfort.
Irony is, on one hand we pay for buying comforts, and on the other hand, we also pay for being uncomfortable.
So, the urge to live and remain ‘ordinary’ went deep inside me. And this was enough to trigger again my desire to become a Monk.
But before becoming a Monk, I decided to first visit my village in Haryana, which was quite far from the city – in Sonipat District. After driving about 30-40 kilometres, I started feeling that long-forgotten smell of a village, and this instantly brought smile on my face – ‘here I come again my village’, I shouted in my car.
The speed of the car increased, the AC was now switched off and the windows were now down too – due to no pollution.
Driving for about 6-7 hours, I finally reached my village. No tiredness. No fatigue. No nothing. I was glowing with happiness and satisfaction.
Since I had informed my village elders that I was coming to meet them, a number of young and elderly people were already waiting for the last 2 hours to welcome me.
In villages, we are generally recognized by the name of our elders, since they owned land and property. Thus, I was recognized as ‘grandson of Pandit Sitaram’, my grandfather, who is no more now. It is also true that more than the younger generation, I was known to the elders of the village.
As I got down from the car, and the first thing I did was to touch the feet of my elders and take their blessings.
An old woman, who I called ‘Dadi’ blessed me immensely. You can feel the warmthness of these blessings as they come deep from heart. While entering the village, every home that I crossed had something to offer me to eat – most of which was jaggery. Without any hygiene issue, I tasted and relished.
My father’s distant brothers showed me the agriculture fields and the traditional methods of farming. It was a feeling that was difficult to be described in words. I was silent and watching everything and thinking – why I came here after so many years?
We passed-through many agriculture fields and also plucked many raw vegetables and also ate them without washing.
The vegetables that we get in cities is quite different from what we see in villages.
Later, I took a dip in a small pond too. The water was chilling cold. I had a good bath for about 30 minutes, without the fear of scarcity of water. And now I was hungry, rather very hungry.
It was also lunch time and people had arranged some ‘khats’ (the Cots) under the oldest tree of the village – named as ‘Sadhu Ped’ – it is about 100 years old. Its roots and branches are spread across many houses in the village. A simple wooden slab was put across each ‘Khat’, primarily, to place the bowls and plates. The food was served in all brass utensils. Since the chapatis were made by hand and the fuel used was of cow dung, they were a little thick but very tasty. The original cow ghee poured on chapatis was different from what we get in packets in the cities. I was served food with jaggery (Gur), ‘sarsoon ka saag’, ‘kadhi pakoda’ and chilli pickle. And finally, one full glass of butter-milk.
The feeling of eating such food in village surrounding cannot be explained – mere visualization makes you feel hungry.
After the lunch, I had to meet people of my village in Community Centre (chaupal), and share my story. They all were waiting to know about what I was doing and how I have progressed in life. Though it was a small walk, but was enough to digest the heavy lunch I had.
We all reached the village ‘Chaupal’ and saw almost all the villagers sitting there. I spoke to them about what I was doing, my family, my children and old memories. I also spoke about the difference of life in village and how we live in a city. Briefly, I told them about my grandfather and how life changed for him when he came to city – his last days and how desperately he wanted to be back in the village.
The younger lot could not understand as to why I was so much fascinated by the village life, as they all wanted to enter into the jungle of city. No matter how much I explained them, the city life always remained exciting for them, and they wanted to move out of the village life as soon as possible.
We chatted for hours together, recalling old incidents and how even villages are changing rapidly.
It was time for me to leave now as it was getting late. In villages you can roam anytime anywhere easily, but in cities, there is a time-limit for everything. In villages, everyone knows you. But in cities, you are still to know who lives next door to you.
It was quite an emotional moment for everyone as I got ready to move now.
As I opened my car, I saw my phone lying on the dashboard. In the excitement, I had forgotten to carry my phone with me.
Before I could move, I saw my ‘Dadi’ running with a ‘Potli’ in her hand and asking me to stop. I came out of the car. She said – “I have packed few ‘Bajre ki Roti’ and ‘Sarsoon ka Saag for children and bahu. Some home-made ‘gud’ is also there. They would certainly like it.”
I touched her feet and hugged her. With her age, I was not sure, if I would be able to meet her again.
While I was driving back home, the natural life in the village reminded me again of becoming a Monk. I realised, actually, it was not about becoming a Monk, it was more about living a peaceful satisfying life, without any obligations and stress. Monks have a discipline too, but it only adds to their process to attain peace of mind.
Perhaps, by living a simple life, I would have a good sleep, no palpitation, no stress, no anxiety, no blood pressure, no hypertension, no cholesterol issue, and probably, no heart-attacks. I would not depend of daily 8-10 medicines and the days would become longer than the nights.
I was driving and thinking everything – anything and everything that peaceful life offers.
Gradually, the horns of cars and traffic jam reminded me that I have entered the city now. Rough roads, crazy people, tall concrete buildings, no greenery and everyone rushing somewhere – yes, that’s city for you.
I knew, I am back to where I had landed many years ago.
I have not left my aspiration to become a Monk, only because I have my commitments and responsibilities.