Like many other professions, one day I found profession of a spy also equally exciting. A spy had so many gadgets, and this was even more tempting for me.
It was always inspiring to watch movies of Sherlock Holmes. I had this feeling that what Sherlock Holmes could do, I could do even better. I could anticipate things better. I could investigate better. I could reciprocate better. I could visualize better. I could even guess the criminals before the movie ended. I accepted within that I was as good as Sherlock Homes, if not better than him.
After watching many old Bollywood movies and English detective movies, my belief was only getting strengthened.
With my incredible capabilities, my family started seeing a ‘Spy’ in me and I became famous as Junior Sherlock Holmes, in my family and relatives.
Many other attributes supported my thoughts. For example, I could change my get-up quickly. I could change my voice swiftly. I could change my walk. I could speak Chinese, Japanese, American English, German, French and even Hindi very well. It is a different matter that only Hindi and English were understood by most and rest of the languages sounded same.
My quote has always been – “Success never came to those, who never failed in life…”
Then finally, one day, when I was about 12-13 years, I shared my dream with my father. My mother was also sitting beside him. My father heard my investigation technique very patiently and he smiled. I was confused. Was this acceptance of my dream or the end of my story. Would the “Junior Sherlock Holmes” die this day?
My father asked me to bring a pen and a piece of paper. He wrote his decision on that piece of paper and asked me to leave the room. Then he called me and said – “if you could find that piece of paper, I would allow you to become a ‘Spy’, and henceforth call you as Junior Sherlock Holmes.”
I was confident of finding that paper in no time. But as you can’t find the book you want; I could not find that piece of paper even after searching the whole day. Rather this search continued for months together and occasionally for few years as well.
Since my mother was the only witness, she too had turned hostile. She refused to divulge any further details.
Years passed and even after getting well-settled in my profession, whenever I went to my father’s place, I did have an eye to find that paper.
I remember asking my father again about that piece of paper again. Initially he had forgotten – which paper – age had taken its credit. But then he could recollect something and laughed. He smiled again and said “Oh Mr. Junior Sherlock Holmes, my promise is still the same. Keep searching. The day you find it, the decision will be known to you.”
It was not about becoming a spy anymore, since I was already settled, it was more about what my father had decided about me after seeing my interest towards becoming a spy.
Then on one unfortunate day, during COVID, my father expired – 6th May 2021.
For other matters I opened his briefcases, drawers and other boxes – and I found a small paper and something written on it in Urdu – he knew Urdu language very well, besides Hindi, English and Punjabi.
I searched for one Urdu scholar and requested him to let me know what has been written on this piece of paper. He looked at me and asked me – “when did your father wrote this”. I said it must be about 40 years back.
He was silent for some time and then with a choked voice he read out. It said – “As a child your skills are excellent. You work with deep understanding and that would make you a good spy. I am deliberately writing this in Urdu since you do not know Urdu, so even if you see this paper, you would only skip it. Pavan, I may not be alive when you get this paper, since you would search my papers in my briefcase only once I am not alive. But I am also sure you would find this paper and find an Urdu expert to read it out for you. Generally, a spy does not spy on himself – finding the real-self. Remember, the best investigation is when you find your own life and test your own knowledge and belief. When you spy yourself, you become better and you have that capability. Jeete Raho, Yours, Senior Sherlock Holmes.”
I took that paper from the gentleman and walked for about 5-6 kilometres silently. Everything that was discussed about 40 years ago was being recollected word by word. It was not a simple paper that was meant to be searched – he wanted me to become a genuine and honest person. Indeed, though he never said this explicitly, I became one eventually.
Sometimes I say, the spy in me refuses to die.